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I should be happy.

I should be…

I shouldn’t be sad.

But why do I feel so sad?

Not so sad, I guess, but, rather, I feel so disappointed.

So those were the lines that came across my mind a minute ago.

I wrote the entry, “Let God Surprise (You) Me“, a couple of days ago - and true enough, God really surprised me.

His surprises for me came in big…yes, they were shocking in fact.

First, the big thing. God rewarded me a wonderful gift for my efforts, but with it was the realization that I can’t get everything I want. Thank you, God, for allowing me to experience the pain, the struggles, the happiness of finding the moment of truth, the humbling experience that dawned on me yesterday.

Second, another big surprise. I settled for something less. I didn’t take courage to ask for what I should really get. But the thing is, God made a way for me to come up with that realization in a way that was so surprising to me. You enlightened me by revealing everything that is in store for me, that - I should take hold of my present to take good care of my future.

I prayed for wisdom to know the reasons behind the surprises.

I was enlightened.

I am still enlightened.

The acceptance was not so easy.

But I already let go of the unwanted emotions.

I feel light - now.

…lighter than the previous days.

I am thankful for the reasons behind the surprises. I may not fully like God’s surprises for me (hehe, sorry God), but the end results after contemplation are more fulfilling, and easier to understand than the first time I looked at them. I will be forever grateful to God for allowing me to experience this triumph over up and down moments. I feel more human now, rather than, a mere person subscribing to the laws of man’s perfection (ME, hehe).

Truly, God never leaves me (or anyone) helpless at all. We may feel so humiliated, so terrible, and sad, but in the end, He leaves us with a trace of hope in our hearts. He gives us the courage to accept things as they are because there are still better options after all.

God, thank you for the surprises - they always make me more attuned with myself, and more connected with You. Surprise me, once more…but please, always show me the way. I wouldn’t make it without You.

How about you, dear readers? Can you share with me what you learned about God’s surprises for you?

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